Interview with a reaper
by Funky Funky Usopp
Summary: I'M BACK!!!!!!!!!!! Yyes CHAP 5 AT LAST!!! Billy!
1. Grim

Interview with a reaper  
  
By Ranie  
  
(( I no own GnE plz RnR Ii won Crash tho))  
  
Grim looks around confused he has found himself on a purple and blue stage with really low budget curtains and lighting. He's sitting on a black chair that looks like it came from Nergals living room.  
  
Grim: what de hell?  
  
A small blue two tailed fox is sitting in the chair opposite him wearing nothing but shoes and a black bandanna.  
  
Crash: Tonight folks we have the grim reaper!  
  
Audience: *Cough. Sniff*  
  
Tumbleweed rolls by and smacks Grim in the face.  
  
Grim: *pulls weed off his face while mumbling*  
  
Crash: Any way. Welcome Grim you are on my chat show where you'll be asked questions! How does that sound?  
  
Grim: *glare* I hate you  
  
Crash: That's the sprit!  
  
Grim: well get on wid it!  
  
Crash: ok Question1: when did you start your job as the reaper?  
  
Grim: ah that's an easy one. I started when I was 16 I remember when dad gave me ma scythe oh how I had fun. Of course it wasn't much fun after I got kicked out of collage for chopping the head masters head off.  
  
Crash: *half asleep* huh wha? Oh that was FASCINATING!  
  
Audience: *playing on gameboys that the show provided*  
  
Crash: NEXT Question!  
  
Grim: well get on wid it you insufferable two tailed thing!  
  
Crash: *holds back a tear* ok Q2 do you have any feelings for Mandy?  
  
Grim: *left eye twitches* I can't stand her let alone want to date her! And what you take me for? A child molester? Crash: *blush* Ye... Er No  
  
Grim: I really hate you!  
  
Crash: pfff you love me really!  
  
Grim: Like a hole in me head  
  
Crash: well next question! Have you got a love life?  
  
Grim: *sniffles* what I do in me spare time is nuttin' to do wid you!  
  
Crash: ok why do you where a dress??  
  
Grim: *stands up and pouts* IT'S NOT A DRESS!!!  
  
Crash: pff sure it is!  
  
Grim: oh and this is coming from a fox that walks around NAKED?  
  
Crash: *covers himself up with a towel* YOU LOOKED!!  
  
Grim: Can I go now??  
  
Crash: yes but you HAVE to come again some time!!  
  
Grim: *grumbles and leaves*  
  
Crash: that's all for this time!! Next time I interview Evil so join me next time!  
  
~~~ MORE SOON~~ 


	2. Evil Hector

Interview with a reaper  
  
By Ranie  
  
((Thanks VERY much for the reviews heres chap 2 I no own any one only Crash))  
  
Chapter2: Evil  
  
Hector looks left while Boskov looks right and vice versa. They are now on the strange chat shows stage. Hector frowns and looks around a little longer. Crash appears munching on popcorn.  
  
Crash: ah so glad you could make it! When I rang up your receptionist said you'd be busy ruling the world.  
  
Hector: Yes well I.. Over estimated my power.  
  
Crash: Isn't dat always the way? So had any problems getting here?  
  
Hector: oh no not at all! I did bump into a very angry reaper on the way past the coffee shop he was saying something about a naked fox..  
  
Crash: *chuckles nervously and looks at the clock* Oh look at the time.. Lets start the questions..  
  
Audience: *all asleep some blowing anime style snot bubbles*  
  
Hector: awww the people are SO happy to see me!  
  
Crash: that was SARCASM right?  
  
Hector: Sarcasm?  
  
Crash: *slaps his own forehead* never mind. so.. Any way first question.  
  
Crash tips the remainder of his popcorn into his mouth and spits out the hard bits all over the cameraman. Cameraman squeals and bursts into tears running off stage leaving a half-drunk director to man the cam.  
  
Hector: Are you sure your camera is ok?  
  
Crash: *shakes head no* Yes.  
  
Hector: Oh ok  
  
Crash: ok question one, do you have a love interest?  
  
Hector: Well it's hard when your just a brain attached to a bear you know *sniffles* I wish I could be with some one! Oh how I miss my body *bursts into tears*  
  
Crash: *pulls out a Banjo and starts to play* heres the worlds dirtiest Banjo playing the worlds hilly billy-ist song JUST for you.  
  
Hector: thank.. you  
  
Boskov: grr arg er  
  
Crash: translation.. I feel your pain  
  
Hector: thank you Boskov  
  
Crash: OKAY enough gay escapades please! Next question! When you take over the world what will be your first order?  
  
Hector: That the bears in any wild life park may be free and get all the food they want!  
  
Crash: You really don't have a life do you?  
  
Hector: Yee... No  
  
Crash: Just as I thought.  
  
Audience: *some ones snot bubble pops and wakes every one up*  
  
Crash: Question three why do you keep General Skarr around when you know he wants nothing more then to take control himself?  
  
Hector: come again?  
  
Crash: *puts towel over his legs* EXCUSE ME? Oh.. Um well Skarr doesn't like you..  
  
Hector: HE DOESN'T? I never would have guessed. are you sure?  
  
Crash: *slams head on the table* bring me the reaper back any day!  
  
Hector: any way next question!  
  
Crash: fine. Question four So I hear you have a son from the future any thoughts on that?  
  
Hector: um I never got my mind around the thought of inter species mating.. Wouldn't the kid be Boskov's?  
  
Crash: *eye twitches* ok enough information please!  
  
Boskov: *grins*  
  
Hector: Oh look at ze time! I have a meeting with Major Doctor Ghastly! See you some other time fox! Hector and Boskov walk though the wall and Crash sighs.  
  
Crash: well! That's interview two! And this is your chance to vote for our next guest! Leave your vote in the review thank you and good night!  
  
~~~MORE TO COME~~~ 


	3. Mandy

Interview with a reaper  
  
By Ranie  
  
((Thanks VERY much for the reviews heres chap 3 I no own any one only Crash))  
  
Chapter2: Mandy  
  
Mandy waves the green smoke away from her face and blinks at the sight of the stage and the fox sitting on a tacky chair. She frowns and crosses her arms over her chest as she walks towards one of the chairs and sits on it.  
  
Crash: So glad you could make it!  
  
Mandy: Do you think I came here of my own free will?  
  
Crash: Um. yes sorry about the kidnapping you from your realm but I knew you wouldn't come *looks down in shame*  
  
Mandy: yeah whatever just hurry up with this show so I can go  
  
Crash: *whimpers and nods* Ok question one! Do you have a crush on Billy?  
  
Mandy: Do you like being male?  
  
Crash: er yes why?  
  
Mandy: then shut up before I take that option away from you.  
  
Crash: hehehe k. *crosses legs* next question. Why are you so miserable?  
  
Mandy: Because I'm stuck here on this flee ridden stage with you that would make any normal person want to commit suicide deal with it.  
  
Crash: *sniffles* your mean!  
  
Mandy: *puts hand to ear* can you hear that?  
  
Crash: no what is it?  
  
Mandy: that's the sound of no one giving a shit.  
  
Audience: *cheer for Mandy while chucking cans at Crash* WOOOOO!!  
  
Mandy: At least your audience knows class when they see it unlike you, who wouldn't know class if it bit you on the nose.  
  
Crash: NOT PICKING ON ME!! *Bursts into tears*  
  
Mandy: you just can't HANDLE the truth! *Glares*  
  
Audience member: hay this is turning into Jerry Springer!  
  
Mandy: that berk ain't got nutting on me!  
  
Crash: Any way next question. If you meet that goddess who tricked you again what would you do?  
  
Mandy: you want the PG version or the non-edited one?  
  
Crash: the PG please  
  
Mandy: ah yes since your readers are SO young and sensitive.. Lets just say Grim's scythe will be getting a birthday..  
  
Crash: Oh dear.. I REALLY need to read the back ground of the people I interview..  
  
Mandy: just shut up and ask more questions.  
  
Crash: *blinks* thought you hated questions?  
  
Mandy: I do but this gives me a reason to insult you.  
  
Crash: you need a reason?  
  
Mandy: No I just said that to make you feel good about yourself.  
  
Crash: *puffs himself up* There is nothing wrong with me!  
  
Mandy: *pokes him making him deflate* you keep telling yourself that ignorance truly IS bliss.  
  
Crash: *growls* any way. Question.. ah lost count.. Do you ever feel lonely?  
  
Mandy: No  
  
Crash: Not at all?  
  
Mandy: does your head feel empty with out a brain? I thought so.  
  
Crash: THAT'S IT YOU AND ME SISTER OUTSIDE NOW!!  
  
Mandy: Pff you think you stand a chance?  
  
Crash: No but I can dream can't I?  
  
Mandy: whatever I'm going . *walks off stage and out the back doors*  
  
Crash: I feel so. *cries* V..i..o..l..a..t..e..d! any way. that's all tonight! More next time and keep those votes coming in!  
  
~~~MORE TO COME ~~~~~~ 


	4. Ghastly

Interview with a reaper  
  
By Ranie  
  
AN: ok I know I haven't done some in ages but I been busy getting fired from work experience lol what do they expect for FREE labour? Pfff and way thanks for the reviews every one here comes the next chap!  
  
Chapter 4: Ghastly  
  
Ghastly is sitting on one of the highly cheap tacky chairs looking around for any signs of intelligent life. Crash walks on stage grinning like a moron. I guess her search took her to the wrong place.  
  
Crash: Ah hello!  
  
Ghastly: Er Hi..  
  
Crash: so you ready for your interview?  
  
Ghastly: but you're a talking fox!  
  
Crash: *frowns* this is coming from a lady who takes orders from a talking brain with EYES?  
  
Ghastly: what's your point?  
  
Crash: *raises eyebrow* oh nothing.. So you ready?  
  
Ghastly: Sure!  
  
Crash: Question 1. Do you have any feelings towards Hector?  
  
Ghastly: Yeah.. I mean in the further we have a kid! He was such a cute little tyke!  
  
Crash: But since Hector is only a brain and has no.. Well in fact to get a kid wouldn't you have had to 'do' it with Boskov? I mean.. Interspecies mating? And the kid would have come out with fur!  
  
Ghastly: Well when you put something like that of course it sounds bad!  
  
Audience member: *hurls into a bag*  
  
Crash: Not that I'm saying interspecies mating is a bad thing *winks and grins*  
  
Audience member 2: *takes off some one toupee and hurls into before putting it back on the guy's head*  
  
Ghastly: I think I'll have to pass..  
  
Crash: *grumble* fine. Question two! If you had the chance to get rid of Cod Commando how would you do it?  
  
Ghastly: I'd beat him over the head like this *grabs Crash and smacks him over the head with a book* then I'd skin him like so *takes off Crash's blue fur to revel his heart covered shorts*  
  
Audience: *notes down the steps*  
  
Ghastly: Then I'd tie him to a spit and roast him over a fire a lot like this *ties Crash to a spit and puts him over fire and turns it around and around* and just to add more pain do this! *Covers Crash in salt*  
  
Crash: *getting a tan*.. Ok.. Thank.. You..  
  
Crash's tails get set on fire and he brakes free and runs back stage to sort out the fire while Ghastly sits there with a huge grin. Crash comes back with black tails witch soon goes back to blue.  
  
Crash: Thank you for that most wonderful demo  
  
Ghastly: It was a pleasure  
  
Crash: yes. sure it was.. Ok Question 3 would you call yourself a 'mad' doctor?  
  
Ghastly: *Does VERY evil laugher then stops and smiles* I wouldn't say 'mad' a tad bit deranged yes.  
  
Crash: *hiding under chair* a TAD?  
  
Ghastly: *nods*  
  
Crash: Ok question 4 how do you feel about animal testing?  
  
Ghastly: Funny you should say that.. *Holds up a huge net* I do need some more 'Volunteers' *evil grin*  
  
Crash: *backs away* Oh really?  
  
Ghastly: *Holding up sleeping dart* come on you know you want to!  
  
Crash: ep Well folks that's all I have time for this week join me next time when I bring Billy to the show!! *Runs like mad* BYE!  
  
Ghastly: *swings net* COME BACK HERE!  
  
~~~~~ MORE TO COME ~~~~~ 


	5. Billy

Interview With A Reaper  
  
Chapter5: Billy  
  
Crash runs into the room looking panicked he stops and stares at the camera like a dear caught in the head lights of a truck and blinks before putting his hands together and looking down at the floor. His tails wave behind him as he sniffles.  
  
Crash: Sorry for the delay folks! Our wonderful sponsor Oppie has been having crap Real life probs.. but ANY WAY on to our next guest.. Billy!  
  
Billy walks in waving happily as he sits on the odd looking chair that many famous asses have sat on included the wonderful *snort* yeah right Catharine zetter some thing or other. Crash sits down and grins cheerily to the camera once again.  
  
Crash: Hi Billy!  
  
Billy: Hi kitty!  
  
Crash: *left eye twitches* riiiiiight Ok question time!  
  
Billy: Oh Oh!!! 39!!!  
  
Crash: *grumbles while audience questions Crash's sanity for inviting Billy on the show* any way.. ok Question1: I'm sure many fans would ask this.. do you have a crush on Mandy?  
  
Billy: *giggles* heheh she my best friend! But I don't like her in that way.. after all Girls have germs!  
  
Crash: Ah I see. and what do these 'germs' look like?  
  
Billy: *wrinkles nose* their sticky and green and they come from their nose!  
  
Crash: That's a COLD! Geez.. Ok.. Question2: What's the longest time you have played Beats and Barbarians with out moving?  
  
Billy: Well *As he thinks we hear his brain stop with a 'splat'* 3 days!  
  
Audience: ohhhh ahhhhh  
  
Crash: -_-' Ok Question 3: when you mum got sent away how did you feel?  
  
Billy: What you mean? She only went to vist aunt sis! . hay wait. o0o  
  
Crash: ehehe moving SWIFTLY on.. last question since we haven't got very long today.. what do you think about Grim?  
  
Billy: heheh He funny! He wears a reeaaaallly long dress and makes kick as cookies! He's like another mom but not a girl!  
  
Crash: *shuffles away* Ok.. that's all we have time for today hehehe sorry it was so short folks tune in next time when I bring in General Skarr see yas!  
  
~More to come~ 


End file.
